Sex and Intimacy After Baby

By Kayla Gitzel, Physiotherapist

Bringing a baby into the world is a beautiful experience, but it can also bring changes to your body, emotions, and relationships, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. Many new parents struggle with returning to intimacy after birth, and there’s plenty we can do to help during this time. Understanding your body’s healing

process, openly communicating with your partner, and using helpful tools can make this transition smoother.

1. Tissue Healing and Readiness

Postpartum recovery varies from person to person, but if you've had a C- section, perineal tear, or episiotomy, you may experience pelvic or sexual pain due to scar adhesions. These adhesions can restrict movement and cause discomfort during intimacy. Encouraging blood flow to the area can aid in tissue healing, and orgasms promote this blood flow. Even if penetration feels off-limits at first, external/clitoral stimulation can be a great way to reconnect with your body and support recovery.

2. Communicating with Your Partner

Open and honest communication is key to navigating intimacy after birth. Your body has changed, and what felt good before may feel different now. Let your partner know about any discomfort, sensitivity, or new sensations you’re experiencing. For example, your breasts might be more sensitive than before, and if you’re breastfeeding, they may leak milk during intimacy. Talking about these changes ahead of time helps reduce anxiety.

3. Overactive Pelvic Floor

When people think about postpartum pelvic health, they often assume the pelvic floor is weak. However, it’s also possible to have an overactive pelvic floor, which can contribute to pain during sex. If you experience tightness or discomfort, your pelvic floor muscles may be too tense. This can happen due to birth trauma, stress, or holding tension in the pelvic area. Relaxation techniques, diaphragmatic breathing, and pelvic floor physiotherapy can help release excess tension and improve comfort during intimacy.

4. Hormonal Changes

Hormone levels fluctuate significantly postpartum, and if you’re breastfeeding, you may experience what’s often referred to as a “mini menopause.” Lower estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, making sex uncomfortable. A vaginal moisturizer can help hydrate the tissues over time, and a good-quality lubricant can provide immediate relief during intimacy. 

5. Helpful Tools

Returning to intimacy doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If penetrative intercourse feels daunting, consider chatting with your physiotherapist about these tools:

• Lubricants: Reduce friction.

• Dilators & Pelvic Wands: Help release muscle tension and improve flexibility.

• Oh-Nuts: Provide a cushioning effect to limit depth with penetrative intercourse.

• Indirect Contact Exercises: Starting with non-penetrative forms of intimacy.

Final Thoughts

Sex after baby can feel different, but there are ways to make it more comfortable. Give yourself time, communicate with your partner, and use the tools available to make the transition easier. If you’re experiencing persistent pain or discomfort, a pelvic floor physiotherapist can help. Intimacy should be enjoyable, and with patience and support, you can rediscover intimacy in a way that feels right for you.